Writing tends to help me sort through things. Especially when it is writing I think others
will be able to read and support me and even grow themselves as they read. I’m not thinking others all have to agree
with what I say, but I will say thanks for listening.
It is late and I don’t think well when it is late. So, for today, I will keep things short and
sweet. But be warned, you will probably
hear from me again.
Karen is my aunt, my mom’s youngest sister by a year and her
closest friend and support. That means
that for my sister and me she was nearly a mom, and one of our greatest support,
confident and buddy. She did everything
with our family. She was and will remain
a central figure, a central and vital part
of our life that we valued before she died, but feel the immensity of the absence
only in the days since she has not come home to us.
Many memories will flow to paper as I take the time to
remember, to laugh and to cry as I try to keep alive the pieces of her that are
in me.
Today, a simple one, a memory I would have forgotten if it
weren’t for the card that found its way to my house among the other belongings
we are sorting through. I have no elegance for words when writing
birthday cards, but sometimes a card fits a person so perfectly that it had to
have been made for them. This was the
case with this card. The outside says
this:
You were
created
with a beautiful purpose,
with a smile that warms,
with words
that encourage,
with a heart
that loves and gives
so freely
and sweetly to others…
On the
inside I wrote something then that I probably had no real concept of how true
it was. The summer I gave Karen this
card I was working at Anasazi, a wilderness program for troubled teens. At this program all individuals are given an
Anasazi name, a name that through simple words tries to encompass who that
person is. In this letter I
gave Karen her Anasazi name, it was fun for me to try my skill at encompassing all that
is amazing and meaningful about Karen into a couple words. Here is what I told Karen:
I want to give you an Anasazi name and it took me a while to
think of it. Anasazi names have a way of
painting a picture of who you are in beautiful terms. I hope you like yours. YELLOW QUAIL
Yellow symbolizes warmth, sensitivity and gentle nature while the quail
(besides being a bird you know and love) means social, friendly , loyal, looking
out for others, and beauty. Karen, I see
each one of these qualities abundantly in you.
We tease you about your sensitivity and warmth towards others but it is
one of your greatest qualities. You
couldn’t be the amazing Kare-Bear if you didn’t love as deeply as you do. You are my aunt but you are also my
friend. Thank you for everything, but
especially for the chance to know and love you.
What I said then is still true today. Karen was caring. Karen gave so much of herself to others. It is part of what made her beautiful. I think many of you will agree.
(Did you know Karen feed the quail by her home for a long long time. She watched them like a mother.)
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